I have definitely not been having an easy time with my digital story in this class. Originally, I was going to have it be about my life back at home and adjusting to life here at school. However, I really ended up not liking that one because it just felt so artificial and I felt like I was repeating myself from previous essays/not portraying myself the way that I wanted to. While it was a good angle, I didn’t know how I was going to make it work for my digital story project. Instead, I decided to take a risk and start over from scratch. Unfortunately, this meant trashing a 4 page paper and a half-way completed storyboard, which was upsetting. The Thursday deadlines are very difficult for me in this class because I am at school working in labs and going to classes from early in the morning and until late at night, so I have trouble getting any work done during the week. Usually, I would do work on the weekends, but for this class I often don’t have the information I need to complete assignments until the week has already started. Because of this, it was a very difficult choice to start my digital story project over this week, but reading over the new script I am so glad I did.
I spent a lot of time thinking about what I should write about, mostly trying to think of things I haven’t written about before for this class. However, after thinking for a while, I knew I had to write about my dad again. It just felt right, and this time I felt like I could write about it from a different angle so that it I could feel/discover something new through this project. As I mentioned when I wrote about him before, I have been feeling more connected to him lately. I thought this would be the perfect way to get some feelings out and memorialize him. Also, it will give me the chance to revisit old memories that I haven’t experienced in a while by reading his poetry, looking through his art portfolio and looking at pictures. Right now, I am struggling to find any kind of recording of his voice (because I really miss it and don’t remember it very well), but I don’t know if one exists. There is something therapeutic about the search though, because even if I don’t find it, it is exciting to think that I might someday.
Unfortunately, I won’t be able to use a lot of the video that I filmed when I went upstate last weekend (which was the whole reason I went upstate), but again, any sense of loss due to the work I started on the first idea I had for the digital story has been forgotten because I am so happy with what I have now decided to do.
The only problem that I’m having right now is when I look over my script and feel that the later paragraphs are not what I want them to be. My intention was for the viewer/reader to feel uplifted, but I feel that it is just as sad as some of the other parts, and even a bit shallow (not expressing enough emotion). It is never nice to hear about people who have hard times and need help from a crisis counselor. However, I just wanted to point out how my father has helped me to be that person for other people. Also, it has consistently been difficult for me to talk about my volunteer work in my essays because I don’t feel entirely comfortable with it. I worry that I come off as smug or sound like I’m bragging. That is not what volunteer work is about for me, and I feel like I cheapen it by talking about it and how it’s made me a better person in my essays. However, in this script I tried to talk about the callers more than myself, and that helped a little bit. I would like to keep working on that until it is more personal, more touching.