To be honest, this was the first essay that came up when I searched for personal statements. When I first read it I did not think that it was that good. I read about 10 more and realized that I actually liked this one more than I thought. The other ones that I read, from various websites, seemed kind of plain to me. This one seems so surreal. I mean the writer starts talking about the army and their experience with not following directions. I love how this person was proud of their decision to not report their sergeant. The best part is that at the end I found out that the writer was applying for law school. Nothing in the statement says anything about why they are going to be a good lawyer or what qualifications they have. I believe that maybe they should have put a little something in there but then again, that is what the resume is for… When you are limited on words it is hard to put down things that are already represented in the resume. I thought it was strange to tell this story but at the same time this is the story that makes them stand out. When someone is reading thousands of applications and thousands of statements, we need to stand out if we want a chance at the job.

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2 Responses to

  1. jlavalliere says:

    The first line to this essay captured my attention. I was confused at first and as I kept reading I was shocked! They literally got punched in the face! The fact that they did not report the drill sergeant says something about the person. I like how they knew they were being lazy and probably deserved getting punished. I agree with you about not saying anything about law school. I feel like it may not be needed that much because they know you are applying to law school from your resume. It may be out of place because the essay doesn’t really explain why they want to go to law school.

  2. ktbmuether says:

    I would agree with you, Breanna. This statement does an excellent job catching the attention of the reader but I am kind of missing the connection to law. Maybe we are missing something though because he successfully got into law school and the Dean of Admissions said it was the “best personal statement she had ever seen.” Maybe if we knew what the prompt was it would have helped us be a better judge if this was suitable or not. I guess the only connection I really could draw from this one would be that that moment with his drill sergeant taught him put in a bigger effort and to be more motivated/determined. This might apply to law school because it is law practice is very hard and requires a lot of hard work and determination?

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